**** Antic Disposition Press **** chrisocarroll@yahoo.com

Publishing books that make thoughtful readers reconsider the value of literacy

Antic Disposition Press is proud to be the publisher of two books by actor/comedian/poet Chris O’Carroll:

Take These Rhymes . . . Please:
Rude Limericks and Other Crimes Against Literature
&
Shakespeare’s Marijuana
and Other Poems the Authorities Don’t Want You To Read

Well, “proud” is probably overstating the case. Antic Disposition Press is willing to admit that it is the publisher of O’Carroll’s books.

* * * * * * *

Shakespeare’s Marijuana
and Other Poems the Authorities Don’t Want You To Read

It was early in 2001, the first months of the new century, a more innocent time. AP, CNN, and other world media outlets (some identifying themselves by entire words, not just clusters of initials) adopted a tone of breathless discovery to inform us all that scientists had unearthed clay pipe fragments at William Shakespeare’s home in Stratford-on-Avon, had dated the pipes to the 1600s, and had found the shards to harbor drug residue. Clearly a sonnet was called for. Thus was born the title poem of this collection.

SHAKESPEARE’S MARIJUANA

When dreamy hemp awakens ev’ry sense,
Reality by any other name
Smells sweetly savory, and no expense
Of flesh or spirit wastes itself in shame.
A poet’s eye rolls frenzi’d, fine, and mad;
Each brook is ston’d with sermons, tongu’d each tree,
And there is nothing either good or bad
But thinking makes it be so, or not be.
Then faculties are infinite, fools wise,
And fairest maiden, passing for a youth,
Companion’d by some monarch in disguise,
Calls spirits from the vasty deep of truth.
Thus wags the ripe rot of this world as herbal
Insights are bodi’d forth in fancies verbal.

(first published in 3rd Muse Poetry Journal)

But there’s more to this collection than frivolous drug poetry. The book is filled with equally frivolous poems about sex, religion, politics, and all manner of pop culture trivia. (Two additional sample poems below.) If Shakespeare were alive and smoking weed today, would he be writing poetry like this? Don’t be ridiculous.

RETURN WITH A SNAU

Years before we smoked a joint with Creedence
And giggled, “There’s a bathroom on the right,”
We had that word’s mystery to tease us
Whenever we tuned in the masked man’s ride.
“Yesteryear” we got, and “Kemo Sabe,”
But that one stumped us -- “Return with a snau. . . .”
Was it Old West gear that any cowboy
Might wear or carry, like spurs, chaps, lasso?
Or some signature Lone Ranger flourish --
A talisman of silver, a bold cry?
Daring and resourceful then, we cherished
Cloud of dust just as much as speed of light.
We’d all grow up someday, we knew, and know
The answers grownups know. We’re grownup snau.

(first published in Eclectica)

SERIOUSLY THOUGH, FOLKS (SEPTEMBER 11, 2001)

At last, an unobstructed harbor view.
That was the punch line I wrote as I watched
An edifice of dust drool down the sky,
Watched one more gang hijack the name of God,
Cook up a smoky brew of human blood,
And ink the air with glyphs of true belief.

Are jokes uncalled for at a time like this?
The men who want me dead for being born
Where I was born read ornery but real;
The chief of my tribe postures hollow, false,
Pipsqueak carjacker of the Prezmobile,
Dauphin adrift in moral vacancy.
Thus playful fortune spears me through the gut,
Transfixes me, and sets up this next gag:
I find it only hurts when I don’t laugh.

In Shakespeare’s greatest tragedy, a prince
Who wonders if he ought to take his life
Is, alone of all the tragic heroes,
Also a great clown role. I rest my case.

It would be fatuous to make the claim
That laughter can shift rubble, bind up wounds,
Quell all the yowls from other thugs of God,
But jokers are the only cards I hold.
My species is a many-headed clown
Refining high techniques to kill itself;
My merriment is not for uplift’s sake.
Check out the unobstructed harbor view.

(first published in Thunder Sandwich)
(winner 2003 Cambridge Poetry Award "Oustanding Political Poem")

For information on ordering a copy of Shakespeare’s Marijuana and Other Poems the Authorities Don’t Want You to Read, e-mail chrisocarroll@yahoo.com (or you can just smoke a joint and wait for the urge to pass).

* * * * * * *

Take These Rhymes . . . Please:
Rude Limericks and Other Crimes Against Literature

“Only improper verse
Can be showstopper verse”
Chris O’Carroll declares as this book beckons readers into his disreputable corner of the literary demimonde. Consider these examples of his questionable talent and even more questionable taste.

five sample limericks

“I don’t mean to be a buttinski,”
Mrs. Clinton told young Miss Lewinsky,
“But your unlaundered dress
Has made more of a mess
Than a letter from Theodore Kaczynski.”

Said a therapist from Waxahachie,
“Because every man lacks a snatch, he
Is bound to have issues
About female tissues.
Venus envy -- that sounds pretty catchy.”

Groaned a tough rugby player from Cheltenham
As he loosened his trousers and feltenham,
“I had two when I started,
But now one’s departed.
Must be from the other team beltenham.”

Snappend a talented tart from Marseille
As her john moaned, “Mon Dieu, what a leille!”
“I can’t live on your thanks,
So hand over your francs.
Sex for me is all work and no pleille.”

Said a high-flying lover from Krypton,
“This flimsy Earth condom I’ve slypton
Will never hold fast
Against my superblast.
I’d say Lois is gonna get drypton.”

As if bawdy limericks like these did not contribute enough to the decline of Western Civilization, the author tries the reader’s patience further with such low forms of versifying as the clerihew and the double dactyl.*

three sample clerihews

John W. Hinckley,
Whose mind worked distinctly kinkily,
Reckoned he could get Jodie Foster hot
If he gave it his best shot.

Bob Jones
Made no bones
About running a university
Unencumbered by such godless concepts as diversity.

Sigmund Freud
Got frightfully annoyed
If anyone suggested that his views on human sexuality
Might be somewhat out of touch with reality.

one sample double dactyl

“Three rules to live by,” said
Marion Morrison:**
“Monosyllabic names
Suit tough guys best;

Cinematography
Salvages one-note stars;
Rewritten history
Rules the Old West.”

There’s even one reprehensible attempt to transform the ancient and honorable haiku into a ribald light verse form. (No, that one is not reproduced here. How many free samples were you expecting?) And it’s all interlarded with Chris O’Carroll’s barely witty prose commentaries, a transparent attempt to pad the book so that buyers who feel ripped off by its lack of quality won’t be able to complain about a concomitant lack of quantity.

If you feel the need to own a copy of Take These Rhymes . . . Please: Rude Limericks and Other Crimes Against Literature, or if you think it would make the perfect gift for a friend or loved one with peculiar taste, you can e-mail the author for ordering information at: chrisocarroll@yahoo.com, or you can wait for him to show up hawking his wares at a comedy club near you.

* * * * * * *

Chris is a member of two performance poetry ensembles:

People’s Poetry Theatre

Dr. Brown’s Traveling Poetry Show

Both groups are based in Massachusetts. Feel free to google them for information on upcoming shows.

* * * * * * *

A quick & dirty guide to the handful of journals incautious enough to publish Chris O’Carroll’s poetry (careful how you use those link buttons above left):

The Alsop Review (www.alsopreview.com)
Actually, these folks have been sensible enough not to clutter their pages with any of Chris’ verse. For nearly a year, however, they did squander valuable space each month on his “Still At Large” column.

Branches Quarterly (www.branchesquarterly.com)
“To a Friend in the Hospital” (#1.3, July, 2002)

Clean Sheets (www.cleansheets.com)
This is an erotica zine. In all likelihood, you’ll be swept away on a tide of bodily fluids and forget all about trying to find the couple of limericks Chris has published here.

Comrades (www.comrade.org.uk)
“Pippi Longstocking” (#11, April, 2002)
“Pubic Hair” (#10, February, 2002)

Crescent Moon (www.desertmoonreview.com/discus/)
“Lopsided” (#2, Spring, 2002)

Eclectica (www.eclectica.org)
“Return with a Snau” (Vol. 6, #1, January/February, 2002)
“Tao” (Vol. 5, #3, July/August, 2001)

The Melic Review (www.melicreview.com)
“Bodacious Botox” (Spring, 2004)
“The Emperor of Birthday Cake” (Spring, 2001)
“Keeping It Real (a poetry lesson)” (Spring, 2004)
“New Parnassian Pharmacology” (Winter, 2002)
This poem was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Go figure.
“Poets Write to Penthouse” (Winter, 2002)
This is actually a packet of three ribald poems -- “Basho Writes to Penthouse,” “This is My Penthouse Letter to the World,” and “The Penthouse Letter of J. Alfred Prufrock.”
“The Size of Things” (Spring, 2004)
“Spellcheck Love Song” (Spring, 2004)

Mentress Moon (www.sundress.net/mentressmoon)
“Charlie Brown” (April, 2002)
“Eros to Psyche” (April, 2002)
This was originally a journal devoted to writing by women. As a one-time experiment, they did an issue featuring exclusively male poets. One issue later, they ceased publishing. Let that be a lesson.

Numbat Poetry Journal (www.aceonline.com.au/~db/numbat)
“To a Friend in the Hospital” (Vol. 1, #2, May, 2003) (reprinted from Branches Quarterly)

Snow Monkey (www.ravennapress.com/snowmonkey/)
“Tess, Amethyst Brook” (Vol. 4, #2, May 2002)

3rd Muse Poetry Journal (www.3rdmuse.com/journal)
“A Few Things I Don’t Know” (print #2, July, 2001)
“How Many Poets Does It Take To Screw in a Lightbulb?” (online #19, April, 2002)
“Improbable” (online #13, October, 2001)
“La Brea: Landscape with Tourists” (online #8, May, 2001, and print #2, July, 2001)
“Of Species & Feces” (online #19, April, 2002)
“Quinquagenarian” (online #19, April, 2002)
The title of this poem was misspelled in its original journal publication. The author’s fault, not the editor’s.
“Shakespeare’s Marijuana” (print #2, July, 2001)

Thunder Sandwich (www.thundersandwich.com)
“Another Typo” (#17, April, 2002)
“At the Demonstration” (#17, April, 2002)
“Joe-Pye Weed” (#15, September, 2001)
“Ken Kesey (1935-2001)” (#17, April, 2002)
“Seriously Though, Folks (September 11, 2001)” (#16, January, 2002)
“A Week of T-Shirts” (#15, September, 2001)

Triplopia (www.triplopia.com)
“Dialogue” (Vol. 3, #3, July, 2004)
“Double Dactyl for a World Traveler” (Vol. 3, #3, July, 2004)
“Lily Garden” (Vol. 2, #3, July, 2003)
“Salty” (Vol. 2, #3, July, 2003)
“Talk Dirty and Influence People” (Vol. 3, #3, July, 2004)
“Throwing the Book at the Proof of the Pudding or How Many Horses of a Different Color Can Dance on the Head of a Pin?” (Vol. 2, #3, July, 2003)
The theme of this journal’s July, 2004, issue is “Laughter.” (The July, 2003, theme is “Sense & Nonsense.” A pattern begins to emerge.) The “Spotlight” section of the “Laughter” issue features an interview in which Chris airs some of his views on comedy and poetry. The “Sense & Nonsense” issue is sensible enough not to interview him.

Word on Wednesday Anthology #7 (Fall, 2003)
“Flavor of the Month”
“Gay Old Party”
“The Gentleman from Mississippi Appeals for Negro Support”
“Inclusiveness and Its Discontents”
“Remembering John Whatsisname”
“Timothy McVeigh, #169”
This is the seventh (and likely the final) issue of an occasional publication showcasing the work of poets from a now defunct weekly reading series hosted by the Fire and Water Cafe in Northampton, Massachusetts, and later by the Black Sheep Deli a few miles away across the river in Amherst.

* Are these terms unfamiliar? Look ’em up! This ain’t no educational website.
** You knew that was John Wayne’s original name, right? So this footnote is a gratuitous insult to your pop-culture intelligence? Forget we mentioned it.